((PKG)) CHILDFREE BY CHOICE
((Banner: Childfree by Choice))
((Reporter/Camera: Deepak Dobhal))
((Map: Richmond, Virginia))
((NATS))
((Andrew)) You know, I don't think we ever, we, either of us, wowed the other side on the first date. ((Erin)) Ouch! I didn't know that. ((Andrew)) Well, I mean, not like.....
((Erin))
I just learned something.
((Andrew))
Well, I think, we both together.....Didn’t you feel that way? No?
((Erin))
What?
((Andrew))
Well that we didn't like, oops, sorry.
((MUSIC / NATS))
((Erin))
These are good pictures. I think that if both people are not invested in having children, if both people didn't want this, if this is a kid compromise, then yeah, kids can ruin marriages.
((Pop-Up Banner: In 2018, the US birth rate dropped to a 32 year low))
((Erin)) I guess, food is love in my family. I've grown up like that.
((NATS))
((Erin))
My dad isn't always the most vocal person saying I love you, but he's going to make sure that you have whatever drink or food or that is your favorite, he is going to make sure you have it.
((NATS))
((Erin O’Toole-Lyon, 41, Mental Health Professional))
I never wanted children and my mom, everybody, all the, you'll change your mind. You'll change your mind. I mean, that's what you get when you are.....because you know that song, “first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes, whoever it is, and the baby carriage.” It's expected and I never saw myself doing that. And I.....I never really never babysat much because I just.....I don't know, I don’t. I enjoy them from afar but what's interesting I will say is, I've worked with children just about my whole career.
((NATS))
((Andrew Lyon, 44, Network Engineer))
Even if we wanted, there is always a way that, you know, I probably could have negotiated that. If we're going to decide to have a kid, I, you know, could have swayed one way or the other.
((Erin))
I mean, we talked about fostering or…..
((Andrew))
Adopting or…..
((Erin))
But that just wasn’t.....so, we don't hate children, but we just don't see that for ourselves.
((NATS))
((Erin))
That was wonderful. You just used his middle name. That was a mom thing to do. ((Andrew)) Some people work so much that they don't have time to have kids, but I know that wasn't with us. We are not driven by the careers. We're not career driven. It's not like I'm trying to climb the corporate ladder or anything like that.
((MUSIC/NATS))
((Erin)) We love the city and love living in the city, but urban schools, as they are, if we had a child, we'd never been be able to live up here without sending our kids to private school.
((NATS))
((Andrew))
Yeah, that's not an issue.
((Erin))
It’s not for sure.
((Andrew))
Well, not for sure.
((Erin))
Because we don't even know how much. We know babysitting or childcare, I guess, costs a lot, but that's how far we keep it off, is I know it costs a lot.
((NATS))
((Erin))
We don't tend to see it as a missing part, as it's not a missing part of our marriage, I don't think.
((MUSIC/NATS))
((Andrew))
We have flexibility in the way of not having kids because we both can go to the gym at the same time. Most people, who especially have younger children, one parent has to be home, you know, to watch the kids.
((MUSIC/NATS))
((Erin))
We enjoy going places and having adventures and new experiences. There is flexibility that also comes in that. ((Andrew)) Been down to South America, Argentina and Chile. We've been in Europe. We've been to almost, I mean…..
((Erin))
Italy, Spain, Portugal,
((Andrew))
France, Amsterdam, Croatia, Greece, Turkey, Ireland, probably someone that I am missing.
((NATS))
((Erin))
That's what I do think, is everybody has different babies now rather than children. Things that you invest your time in and, I guess, a child would be something you invest your time and energy and whatever into, and that's very much the case for our friends, who do marathons and triathlons, and that's where they invest their time. We certainly invest time in the gym and our travel.
((NATS))
((Erin O’Toole-Lyon, 41, Mental Health Professional))
People say we're selfish and that brings up feelings in me. But I know what I'm good at, and knowing what you want and what you don't want, I don't see that as selfish. So, I also see that we are being the best people we can in the world, and that to me is a contribution.
((NATS))
((Erin))
And this is again, by no means, the reason I didn't have kids, but I'm not happy with where our country is. I'm not happy with, like, the way the environment is treated. I wouldn't bring a kid up in this environment. I wouldn't want to.
((NATS))
((Andrew)) There's no one left in my family that's going to have the Lyon name. It ends with me and my brother and neither of us have kids. So that, you know, it’s also sad, but I mean, these things happen. You know that lines end, and, in terms of just names. I mean, people live on. I don't think that, you don't want to use that as a reason to have a kid. There's got to be between you and your partner how you want to go. I wouldn't, you know, put into a debate saying, oh, here's the thing you can do. You know, you're not going to have as much free time. You got to go to events that you don't really want to go to. I don't think I'd get into that debate with someone because it's really on their own.
((Erin))
We feel very comfortable with our choice and whatever the world wants to think about it…..
((Andrew))
I was, kind of, hoping that there’s a reason to, to, kind of, get out and explore and she was the best reason that I could ever hope for. ((Erin)) I'm still bummed about how him saying the first date didn't go well.
((Pop-Up Banner: Young adults say more leisure time, lack of a partner, and cost are the main reasons to not have children))
((Banner: Childfree by Choice))
((Reporter/Camera: Deepak Dobhal))
((Map: Richmond, Virginia))
((NATS))
((Andrew)) You know, I don't think we ever, we, either of us, wowed the other side on the first date. ((Erin)) Ouch! I didn't know that. ((Andrew)) Well, I mean, not like.....
((Erin))
I just learned something.
((Andrew))
Well, I think, we both together.....Didn’t you feel that way? No?
((Erin))
What?
((Andrew))
Well that we didn't like, oops, sorry.
((MUSIC / NATS))
((Erin))
These are good pictures. I think that if both people are not invested in having children, if both people didn't want this, if this is a kid compromise, then yeah, kids can ruin marriages.
((Pop-Up Banner: In 2018, the US birth rate dropped to a 32 year low))
((Erin)) I guess, food is love in my family. I've grown up like that.
((NATS))
((Erin))
My dad isn't always the most vocal person saying I love you, but he's going to make sure that you have whatever drink or food or that is your favorite, he is going to make sure you have it.
((NATS))
((Erin O’Toole-Lyon, 41, Mental Health Professional))
I never wanted children and my mom, everybody, all the, you'll change your mind. You'll change your mind. I mean, that's what you get when you are.....because you know that song, “first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes, whoever it is, and the baby carriage.” It's expected and I never saw myself doing that. And I.....I never really never babysat much because I just.....I don't know, I don’t. I enjoy them from afar but what's interesting I will say is, I've worked with children just about my whole career.
((NATS))
((Andrew Lyon, 44, Network Engineer))
Even if we wanted, there is always a way that, you know, I probably could have negotiated that. If we're going to decide to have a kid, I, you know, could have swayed one way or the other.
((Erin))
I mean, we talked about fostering or…..
((Andrew))
Adopting or…..
((Erin))
But that just wasn’t.....so, we don't hate children, but we just don't see that for ourselves.
((NATS))
((Erin))
That was wonderful. You just used his middle name. That was a mom thing to do. ((Andrew)) Some people work so much that they don't have time to have kids, but I know that wasn't with us. We are not driven by the careers. We're not career driven. It's not like I'm trying to climb the corporate ladder or anything like that.
((MUSIC/NATS))
((Erin)) We love the city and love living in the city, but urban schools, as they are, if we had a child, we'd never been be able to live up here without sending our kids to private school.
((NATS))
((Andrew))
Yeah, that's not an issue.
((Erin))
It’s not for sure.
((Andrew))
Well, not for sure.
((Erin))
Because we don't even know how much. We know babysitting or childcare, I guess, costs a lot, but that's how far we keep it off, is I know it costs a lot.
((NATS))
((Erin))
We don't tend to see it as a missing part, as it's not a missing part of our marriage, I don't think.
((MUSIC/NATS))
((Andrew))
We have flexibility in the way of not having kids because we both can go to the gym at the same time. Most people, who especially have younger children, one parent has to be home, you know, to watch the kids.
((MUSIC/NATS))
((Erin))
We enjoy going places and having adventures and new experiences. There is flexibility that also comes in that. ((Andrew)) Been down to South America, Argentina and Chile. We've been in Europe. We've been to almost, I mean…..
((Erin))
Italy, Spain, Portugal,
((Andrew))
France, Amsterdam, Croatia, Greece, Turkey, Ireland, probably someone that I am missing.
((NATS))
((Erin))
That's what I do think, is everybody has different babies now rather than children. Things that you invest your time in and, I guess, a child would be something you invest your time and energy and whatever into, and that's very much the case for our friends, who do marathons and triathlons, and that's where they invest their time. We certainly invest time in the gym and our travel.
((NATS))
((Erin O’Toole-Lyon, 41, Mental Health Professional))
People say we're selfish and that brings up feelings in me. But I know what I'm good at, and knowing what you want and what you don't want, I don't see that as selfish. So, I also see that we are being the best people we can in the world, and that to me is a contribution.
((NATS))
((Erin))
And this is again, by no means, the reason I didn't have kids, but I'm not happy with where our country is. I'm not happy with, like, the way the environment is treated. I wouldn't bring a kid up in this environment. I wouldn't want to.
((NATS))
((Andrew)) There's no one left in my family that's going to have the Lyon name. It ends with me and my brother and neither of us have kids. So that, you know, it’s also sad, but I mean, these things happen. You know that lines end, and, in terms of just names. I mean, people live on. I don't think that, you don't want to use that as a reason to have a kid. There's got to be between you and your partner how you want to go. I wouldn't, you know, put into a debate saying, oh, here's the thing you can do. You know, you're not going to have as much free time. You got to go to events that you don't really want to go to. I don't think I'd get into that debate with someone because it's really on their own.
((Erin))
We feel very comfortable with our choice and whatever the world wants to think about it…..
((Andrew))
I was, kind of, hoping that there’s a reason to, to, kind of, get out and explore and she was the best reason that I could ever hope for. ((Erin)) I'm still bummed about how him saying the first date didn't go well.
((Pop-Up Banner: Young adults say more leisure time, lack of a partner, and cost are the main reasons to not have children))
